Recently I received a letter from a young man who had been married only a few years. He was seeking advice for what to do with a marriage
which had seemingly lost the spark and excitement it once had. He was finding his marriage dull and routine, and was looking for an excuse to
seek fulfillment elsewhere. This young man's dilemma is certainly not unique. Just look at the staggering divorce rates in this country if you
don't believe me. Fortunately, there is a simple solution to this problem.
My advice to this young man was the same as it is for all others
experiencing similar difficulties in their relationships. Relationships are like anything else, the more time and effort we put into them, the more
successful they will be. If our marriages and other relationships seem unsatisfying, we must first look at what we are putting into these
relationships, rather than what we're getting out of them. We can't expect more from a relationship than we're willing to put into it.
When we're first courting, our infatuation with the other person leads
us to be romantic and prone to outward signs of affection. We write love letters, spend hours talking about our deepest feelings and
thoughts, we hold hands in public, and say sweet things for no reason, etc. Unfortunately, as the relationship continues and we begin to focus
more on other things and less on our partner, the relationship loses its
initial spark and we begin to feel a loss of love, intimacy and
excitement. This doesn't mean our love is fading or the relationship has
less to offer, it simply means we've forgotten to keep the love alive.
We all can recapture the excitement, love, and intimacy our
relationships once had, and without a major overhaul. Simply putting
forth a little effort each day can make all the difference in the world. When was the last time you woke up, turned to your partner and told
them you loved them? Or called them at the office for no other reason than to say you missed them? If you need ideas, just think back to the
things you did when you were first dating. It won't take long for your partner to notice your renewed affection, and suddenly you'll find them
returning these gestures of love. Soon the relationship you once questioned will have taken on a whole new sense of fulfillment, love, and intimacy.
We all can have a lifelong love affair with our partners, we simply need
to remember to put into the relationship what we want out of it.
- About The Author:
Passing Thoughts is a syndicated weekly column written by T.W. Winslow - read by millions around the world each week. To get the new Passing Thoughts
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