If you want to know love, don't look to someone else to provide it for you. If you think the
only way you can find love is from someone else, you will cling to them and fear losing them.
If they are healthy, they will feel the burden and withdraw. If they are co-dependent they will
cling to you and reaffirm the myth that the only place you can find love is with each other.
When you realise that you have all the love you need to feel good right there inside of you
then you can begin to share that love with others freely in a way that does not feed but
enhances their love for themselves.
When you give away what you think you need, you will be surprised at how it flows back to
you in many ways..
Man hater or man lover?
In Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, John Gray used the metaphor of people
from two diverse planets to explain the differences between men and women. When we
encounter an alien spaceship, we can choose to shoot it down and fight or we can choose to
welcome it in and learn about and be stimulated by our encounter with different life forms.
Weak people shoot, strong people embrace.
Men and women act and think differently. We have the choice to be irritated by and criticize the
differences. What would happen if instead we learn celebrate and enjoy those differences?
This is not about self-sacrifice or self-denial, it is about being flexible enough to sway in the
wind because you know you are rooted and grounded. If you spend your time criticising your
man, wishing he were different, you are using your energies negatively. This makes you feel
bad. If you want to feel good, start believing everyone has something special and unique and
focus on finding and enjoying the positive side of your man's maleness.
We were put on this earth to be who we are. If you are a heterosexual female, part of being who
you are is having the ability to truly love a man, not in spite of, but because of their maleness.
Men are wonderful creatures as are we. I admire and respect, love, lust after and enjoy the
wonders of men. When you focus on the wonder rather than the differences, and when you
celebrate the differences and turn them to wonder, you will begin to relate to your man.
Life is not a battlefield and love is not a game or a war. Life is not a game of hunt the missing
piece. Life is a beach where we can learn to bask in the sun and enjoy each other. If as you
read, you are thinking, why should I be making all the moves I ask you to think about what it
can be like to be secure enough in who you are to make the first move to creating more wonder,
or healing the rifts, between your man and yourself. Give what you expect to receive
I was 18 years old in 1970 and all over the so-called civilized word Women’s Libbers were
casting off bras, forming elite groups and denouncing men in various ritualistic rejections of
‘male fascism’ and ‘female subservience’.
Some of them blamed men for everything. They forgot that most men just behave according
to what’s been passed down. It’s what they’ve learnt over the years seeping through from
generation to generation starting with their primitive ancestors. They were just acting out their
Meanwhile some feminist fascists set out to get Revenge. They wanted to tear those men limb
As their powerbase grew, they systematically put down and criticised men in order to keep
them in their place. They did exactly to the men what had been done to them. And what did
they get. A bunch of men who felt emasculated and castrated by women. Some men caved in
and became more 'sensitive', less confident and often hen-pecked. Some didn't. Women got
their rights, but they cut off a few balls in the process.
Men and women are meant to embrace not batter each other. Instead of cutting off a dick for
every put-down received by a vagina perhaps we should think about turning the other cheeks!
[not a spelling mistake!] See section on Surrender.
The end of the 20th century saw women binning their power shoulder pad way of thinking and
adopting a softer, sexier more feminine style.. Clever women realised that that the Maggie
'strap-on' solution was not comfortable and being Peniswoman, required the generation of too
much masculine energy. They were stressed and unbeknown to them their testosterone levels
were rising. They were turning into men and they weren’t happy!
As they began to look elsewhere for the answers they re-discovered the power of their natural
feminine energy. Anita Roddick who founded Body Shop is celebrated for running her
business on female energy and creating a culture that tries hard to be more caring, giving
and ecologically aware.
New age reality
As the 21st century dawns we find ordinary people slowly opening out to and embracing
elements of what was once known as the ‘new age’ lifestyle. Suddenly it's no longer quite so
wierd to have crystals, use alternative medicine, meditate, read self-help books or go on
workshops. People who have actively begun their personal growth are beginning to get in
touch with themselves and access more of who they really are. When we do that we can begin
to respect, rejoice in, and interact with the qualities that make men and women such uniquely
wonderful and different creatures.
This article is for women everywhere who like themselves enough to want to embrace their
feminine nature and be a true female to their male. Read on if you are sure enough of the
wonder of you to appreciate the wonder of him.
Less criticism more compliments
P.S. - Peta Heskell is author of the book Flirt Coach published in the USA. You can access her website at:www.flirtcoach.com
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