A Quick Guide for Guys
Following are Twelve Simple Secrets
that you should know about her. When you're done reading them you'll
have a better grip on what to do to make her smile a little brighter.
Romance is the key to sex
Romance is routine maintenance--yeah, like your car to keep things
running smoothly. Remember all those romantic things you did to win her in the
first place? Keep doing them now and then. If you let her know often that you
care, she stays open and responsive to your sexual overtures.
Romance is all the little things you do to let her know you care. Call her
just to say hi. Buy her a gift "just because." (Remember, it isn't the
cost of the gift, it's the thought.) And flowers, even the smallest bouquet,
always work. How about mailing a card or leaving a note where she'll find it? Or
planning a special outing, or arranging for a baby-sitter so you can take her to
the movies? Anything that lets her know you've been thinking about her melts her
heart. For her, romance and sex go hand-in-hand. If you want more sex, give her
For her, sex takes time
Okay, your romantic efforts have paid off and she's in the mood for sex. When
asked what sex advice they'd give to men, women almost always say, "Tell
them to SLOW DOWN!"
Think of sex as a slow, sensuous dance. Be gentle, seductive. (Rent the movie
Don Juan deMarco and listen to how he talks about women and making love.)
Explore her entire body. You both may be surprised what you find. Hold her like
you never want to let her go. And give her lots of long, slow kisses. (Women
often complain that men don't kiss enough.)
What you're doing is warming her up. You wouldn't take a Ferrari that's been
sitting in your garage for a week, start it, and immediately run it up to 100
mph, would you? Well, think of her as a Ferrari.
Oh, and don't roll over and fall asleep immediately after sex. Women really
hate this; they need to be held and they love a little pillow talk afterward, so
stay awake for at least a few minutes. Then better yet, fall asleep holding her.
Talking is the way she connects with you
Women talk for the sheer pleasure of talking. It's how they connect to people.
Because your woman has read this book she understands that a lot of what she
talks about all those little details is boring to you. So, she's
going to be more selective about what she says to you. But if you give her your
full attention when she does talk to you, it becomes one of those romantic
gestures. Got it?
And you know how she's always trying to get you to be "more
intimate"? If you listen to her more, she'll think you are being more
intimate. All you have to do is look at her and pay attention; she'll think
she's died and gone to heaven. It's that important to her, and that simple.
She needs to hear you say you care
For her to really feel your love, you need to tell her in words. Of course, she
wants to hear you say "I love you," but anything you say to let her
know you care and appreciate her will earn you major points: "You're
wonderful, do you know that?" "I'm so lucky to have you."
"Do you know how much I love you?" Big points on that one. Whenever
you say these things, look into her eyes and mean it. Remember this, you cannot
tell her you love her too often. This definitely wins you points on the romance
And, how often have you heard one of your buddies, who's gotten a divorce,
say, "I never realized how much she did to make my life comfortable."
She needs to hear she's attractive
In today's culture, because of what they are taught as girls, and because of
what they read in magazines and see on TV and in films, women get insecure about
how they look and whether they're sexually appealing. So, tell her
regularly and let her know you mean it that she's beautiful and
Compliment her on a new dress, the color she's wearing, or how her hair
looks. Tell her she has soft skin, how much she turns you on, how pretty her
breasts are. The more beautiful she feels, the sexier she'll feel. This should
pay off big time in the bedroom.
Her feelings need to be honored
Her feelings are as important to her as your work (or maybe sports) is to you.
That's why she likes to talk about them. She needs you to acknowledge what's
going on for her when she's being emotional. Don't try to tell her that what
she's feeling is "wrong" and don't try to fix the problem unless she
asks you to. And never tell her "not to feel" her emotions. A
sure-fire winner: ask her, "What are you feeling?" Then sit down and
She understands that you get kind of uncomfortable when she's being
emotional, but if you just let her express herself and listen with your full
attention, she'll think you're the most sensitive man on the planet.
Making up is hard to do
When you fight with your partner, are you often surprised that it turned into a
bigger event than it should have? If she's like most women, she tends to get
going with her emotions and lets everything spill out. She doesn't mean a lot of
what she says. Do your best to pay attention, let her vent, but don't let the
words get to you. The best way to stop her in her tracks is to admit that you
were being stubborn, insensitive, inconsiderate, and hurtful. The more
conciliatory you are, the more she'll be stopped in her tracks. If you make the
first move to make up and offer no resistance, she can't keep fighting with you.
Someone has to take charge so it doesn't escalate, and because she's lost in her
emotions, it's going to have to be you. Be willing to look at her complaint and
see where you may have been insensitive to her needs.
If you both vow to never go to bed mad, you'll be making love instead of war.
She likes to be pampered
Your woman naturally does for others. She appreciates the value of nurturing but
all too often doesn't take the time to care for herself. You can score big time
if once in a while you run a bubble bath for her, take her on a special trip or
plan a romantic dinner, give her a gift certificate from her favorite shop or a
trip to a day spa. Talk about getting a woman "in the mood." Wahoo!
Sure, she appreciates that you change the oil in her car, but it doesn't
really tell her you love her, even though that may be what you mean. To pamper
her just remember, personal luxuries.
She needs your respect
Throughout history, and in many cultures even today, women have been
second-class citizens, looked down on as less able in every category. Only
recently have we begun to consider women worthy of respect. To be the open,
loving woman you want, she needs you to honor her as a person and appreciate her
contributions as a capable person. Don't treat her as a child. Don't judge or
criticize her. Don't ignore her or take her for granted. Don't be rude. Treat
her like a lady at all times and she'll treat you with the respect that you
expect and enjoy.
She needs to feel secure
Your lady has a deep biological need to feel secure, to have a man provide for
her and protect her. Financial security is obviously important, but even more
than that, she needs to know you're there for her. That's one of the reasons she
needs to hear you say "I love you."
What really helps is to give her ongoing affection and the reassurance of
physical contact. If you do this every day, several times a day, you'll give her
the security she needs. Hold her hand, put your arm around her, hug her, touch
her in gentle and reassuring ways. The more secure she feels, the happier she'll
be. When she's happy, she's open to you.
She needs your time and attention
Does she ever try to talk to you when you're reading the newspaper? Or walk in
front of the TV in the middle of the play-offs? Does she complain that she never
sees you, never has time to talk with you, or that you don't even know she's
alive? If so, it's a plea for your attention. She knows how focused you can be
when you're working, but she feels left out. It's part of that security thing.
What to do? Set aside time now and then to focus on her. Let her know she's
important enough to devote yourself to her completely and she'll be less likely
to feel ignored. The rewards will far outweigh the effort.
She wants a man who makes her feel like a woman
She chose you because of your masculine qualities. Qualities that make her feel
more womanly. In your presence, she feels protected, provided for, and loved. Be
masculine, but do it with sensuality and sensitivity. Be hungry for her, be
passionate, be strong, but be tender, as if she were a delicate flower. And,
yes, open the car door for her, carry heavy things for her, pull out her chair.
The feminist movement did a lot of damage to romance but if your woman has been
reading this book, she's not into feminism, she's into love and romance. That
means you. Be chivalrous, be gallant, be thoughtful, and win her heart...over
and over again.
Make her feel beautiful, make her feel desirable, make her feel special and
important, and you'll make her feel like a womanas only a man can do.
Yes, It's That Simple!
So there it is in a nutshell. Twelve Simple Secrets that could very well
change your life forever. You can never know for sure what's going on with a
woman, but you can certainly make everything a lot nicer for both of
you by following the advice you've just read.
Men complain that women nag, criticize, try to change them, are never
satisfied, are too emotional and unpredictable. If you follow these Secrets and
make them a habit, that irritating behavior should pretty much disappear. If it
comes back, consider it a barometer of how you're doing. Then get the Secrets
out and read them again.
The way to be a great lover is to be a romantic lover. When you focus on
romance, she'll respond to you like never before. And she'll feel like she's the
luckiest woman alive.
Do you wish she understood you better? Do you want to be her hero? Give her
the book everyone is talking about. The best thing you can do for your
relationship is buy a copy of Men
Made Easy for her. And if you're single and searching, this book is the
perfect filter because if she doesn't like it, it means she probably doesn't
like men. You can quit while your ahead.
book teaches women to understand you and accept you as you are, to appreciate
you, especially the masculine qualities that she most admires, to be happy and
beautiful in every way, and to enjoy sex because it's your primary source of
intimate expression...and you know how women are always asking for more
This article was written by Kara Oh
published at: http://www.alluringyou.com
Oh is author of "Men Made Easy".
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