I'm a woman, wondering about having an
How do you actually know if you're having
one? How do you know if you're at your climax point of being stimulated
if you've never had one before? When do you know you can't go any
Thanks for all your help.
orgasm and pressure point:
As I'm sure you probably know, there are
many women that have never had an orgasm. It seems unfair to me that
some women can climax many, many times, and others have never had a
The climax is actually an important
physiological function! It helps to stimulate the nervous system and
actually opens up communication channels within the body. It causes
hormone production; it relieves stress and actually reduces pain due to
its endorphin-releasing effect. In short the orgasm is very important!
So, how do you know if you've ever cum? If
you're not sure, you probably haven't. It's not that you can pinpoint
very specific sensations or feelings as different women often report
different things. Some say that their climaxes are huge physical and
emotional explosions and others say that they feel like electric waves
washing through their bodies. Still others say it is just a
"profound sense of well-being". It's no wonder there is such
confusion about the female climax!
The first question to ask is: do you
masturbate? Almost everyone does and it's an important aspect to a
person's sexuality, but a few women (and even fewer men) don't. That is
a big mistake because if you don't understand your own sexual response,
how will anyone else? Further, how will you learn to communicate to
someone what you need to reach climax, and when you've actually done it?
Let's face it, there isn't a big red flag on your ass that goes up when
you cum! So, if you don't masturbate yet, that's the first place to
start. I won't go into all of the technique or issues around
masturbating here as it's outside your particular question.
be continued below...
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Next, if you do masturbate, what do you get
from it? Is it just a sense of relief or relaxation, or is it a private
place where you can explore fantasies? This is another critical key to
understanding your own sexual response. Fantasies are rich and powerful
ways to understand yourself. They have no other equal.
As far as being able to "turn it
up" - that is, to increase the sensation and benefit of an orgasm,
you first have to understand what in yourself produces them. You see,
even when you're with a partner, your orgasm is something YOU create -
not that someone else gives you! Once you understand this, and when you
learn to manage your own sexual response, then you can begin to explore
what things make them grow.
Many women find that vocalizing helps to
improve their orgasms. Others find that breathing, (or not breathing!)
makes it better. Some find that certain positions stimulate them in ways
that produces better orgasms, or that certain kinds of sex (like oral
sex) makes it work. Still others find that certain kinds of muscular
tension improve the sensation. Every woman is different!
I actually have been with women that were
non-orgasmic when I met them and became easily orgasmic once they began
to understand their own sexual responses. I'm not bragging here - these
women did this themselves - I only provided a loving, caring, accepting
environment in which they could explore these things without guilt! Some
of these women can even climax at will - just from being hugged or
kissed for instance!
So, you have everything in you right now to
take your own sexuality anywhere you want it to go. All you have to do
is to open yourself up to the possibilities and start to discover what
about you makes you go "Ohhhhhh!"
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- Are you always afraid you'd do something wrong, or that the
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