Admittedly, some people (myself being one of
them) seem to be naturally flirtatious. Their smiles, laughter, and
easy manner of relating tends to draw the opposite sex like a magnet.
if you aren't quite comfortable with the concept of flirting, these tips
should provide you with the information you need to understand what
flirting is, how to flirt, how to be flirted with, and enable you to get
out and start flirting up a storm with class and style!
to flirt how christians flirt:
Exactly Is Flirting and
Why do I Need to Know How to Do It?
Developing the ability to flirt is an essential element in the art of
meeting and establishing contact with some of the other 63 million singles
in America. Flirting can affirm a woman's feminine charms or make a man
feel good about his masculinity. It can really boost your ego and make you
feel more attractive, more sensual, more desirable. Flirting with
your date makes him or her feel wanted, exciting and captivating. Your
date will feel flattered, appreciated and good about themselves when
around you. That good feeling will spread and they'll feel
pretty darn good about you, too.
single men have expressed to me that they view flirting as cruel, a
punishment or taunt of some type. Their opinion is that flirting is
a "waste of time" and "shouldn't be done." These guys
feel that once a woman flirts with them they are then "owed"
something. They view the flirt as a promise! Now fellas, if this is
truly your mindset, let me tell you right now that nobody in this world
owes you a thing! If a woman flirts with you, or you flirt with her, it is
simply an opportunity for a delightful, fun and entertaining exchange of
winks, giggles and light social banter. It doesn't mean that you are
guaranteed anything - not a dance, a drink, a date, a relationship or sex!
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can flirt with total strangers, acquaintences or friends. You can
flirt with looks, with words, with sly little touches, or any combination
of the above. A flirtation can last for seconds, minutes, or even years.
It can lead to more, or nowhere in particular.
Very Shy... How Would I Begin?
you first catch your victim's eye by giving a long, lingering and
appreciative stare for about 3-5 seconds. You might prefer the
"coy eye-flirt," where you give several quick glances in
succession. (I have perfected the one eyebrow raised thing, which
always brings a smile to a fella's face….he knows what time it is!).
If you aren't quite so daring, you can peep, then look away, drop your
eyes, or give him/her a brief amused smile. Usually that will draw them
closer, and you can then engage in light conversation, which will enable
you to move on to flirting levels 2 and 3!
2 Flirting -- TALKING
Words are easy to use when flirting. Commenting on the color, style or fit
of the clothing being worn is great, but often with words it's not so much
what you say, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT. Tell her that she has beautiful brown
eyes that twinkle when she smiles and I'll bet that lady will smile at you
all night! Tell the handsome fella you are talking with how rich and
masculine his voice is and how you could listen to him talk all night.
Watch him beam with pride! Alternatively, telling a woman that she
"has a spread like the Ponderosa" would most likely be
interpreted as an insult, and, unless you wanted to be totally ignored,
probably won't get you the reaction you were hoping for.
let's say you were flirting with the intention of catching the eye of
someone you ARE interested in dating. You've got him or her talking
to you, it's all good, and you've flirted your hardest. When do you
make your move? I say that given 10-15 minutes of time, you should both
know whether or not you are with someone you would want to see again.
If you have been respectful, positive and encouraging during your
conversation, the Flirtee should propose that you exchange phone numbers
or meet again soon. If not, perhaps you might suggest it. If they decline
for any reason, that means they are not interested in pursing the
flirtation any further, but did enjoy your company. At that point
you should exit gracefully, consider it a great practice session, and move
on to flirt with someone else. However, if your flirtation works out
well, and you do get those digits, move on to Level 3…
3 Flirting - TOUCH
Flirting by touch is great, but must be done with caution. Not everyone is
comfortable with being touched by someone they don't know (especially
women). But gently picking "lint" from his jacket sleeve,
gently placing your hand in the small of her back as you guide her through
the crowd, or touching an arm during conversation to emphasize your point
are typical non-threatening ways to flirt with touch. Leaning in
close and brushing against your Flirtee so that he/she gets a good whiff
of the cologne you are wearing is another subtle way to touch and get away
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flirting with someone else's honey. You look less than righteous
(rather trifling actually), and could really hurt someone's feelings
or start something you are not prepared to finish.
expect that because someone flirts with you that you are owed their
time or anything else. Relax! Look upon the flirtation as a
pleasant way to pass the time.
flirt to make someone you are with (or want to be with) jealous. It
will most likely backfire and you'll end up looking like a fool.
that flirting is subtle. Overt sexual innuendo (unless it's with
your main squeeze) is not flirting… it's a proposition! Avoid
verbal comments or behavior that could be construed as an overt sexual
flirt only with the one you really want, not the one that is easy to
get. Often what happens is the one you really want is watching
you, and then decides that you weren't really flirting with or
interested in them anyway.
upon flirting as playful, entertaining fun. Relax! You'll enjoy it so much
more and find that the benefits of meeting new men and women far outweigh
the initial fears you may have! ;-)
by Deborrah Cooper and www.askheartbeat.com,
a site which
focuses on Black and interracial relationships. Reprinted with
permission of author. All other rights reserved."
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