You don't have
to look like Jennifer Anniston or Brad Pitt to make the guys (or girls) go
gaga. All you need is your fabulous smile and a few surefire flirting tips
like the ones you'll find below to attract the opposite sex like paparazzi
to a movie star.
For women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel
comfortable in taking a risk. For men, the secret is in showcasing your
masculinity. (And no, that doesn't mean adjusting yourself or proving once
and for all that you are the Belching King.)
Signs to tell a guy likes a girl:
1) Lock Eyes
Lock eyes with the person you're flirting with for a full five to six
seconds, then smile and drop your gaze. Don't stare a hole through the
guy's forehead for goodness sake, just give him a smoldering come-hither
look and look away. Do this at least three times in a ten to
fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to know it's them you're
flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal of openness.
Smiling is absolutely the most effective tool in your flirting toolbox.
Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important
things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is
to smile. Not a giant plastic used car salesman smile, just your normal
"I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here"
face will do the trick. According to body language expert Patti Wood,
"the smile is the international signal of friendliness." Guys,
if you lock eyes and smiles with a woman three or more times in an
evening, you have received a clear signal that she's interested. Make your
move, head on over and start up a conversation. If you don't, somebody
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3) Be a
Vampire's Best Friend
One of the most winning flirting techniques a woman can use is the
exposure of her neck. This can be done with a head tilt to one side, the
classic hair flip, or my personal favorite, the over-the-shoulder glance -
the asymmetrical position attracts attention, exposes your neck, and gives
you the opportunity to lock eyes. The over-the-shoulder move is
extra-effective because it's sexy and it sends a signal to your target
that they are worth a second look.
4) Preen Like A Peacock
We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we're attracted to
someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our lipstick in a
compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a
smile and a gaze. Another trick? Toss your hair to one side. This classic
move is a double whammy that combines preening and a flash of neck. Need
we say more?
5) Lip Service
Both men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips because
they signal youth, sex and fertility. How to make the most of it? For
women, try wearing a red lipstick (red has been shown to increase a man's
heart rate), which not only gives your lips that youthful color, but also
makes your smile more visible and your teeth whiter. A super-shiny lip
gloss can also give you an advantage, making your lips look moist and
kissable. For both men and women, try licking
your lips (subtlety is key here, you don't want to look like you're trying
out for a porno flick.) or biting your lower lip - both are extremely
effective flirting behaviors.
6) Cross Your Legs (Women)
Crossing and uncrossing your legs is another surefire flirting technique,
especially if you're wearing high heels. The act of crossing your legs is
quite seductive to men, and it makes them desire to see more. Another key
seduction trick is slipping your heel out of your shoe and dangling it on
your toes. The arch of the foot sends a sexual message and mimics a
woman's curves, and sends a man's heart racing.
be continued below...
7) Square Your Shoulders (Men)
biologically attracted to more dominant men, so stand tall with your
shoulders back. Feel free to take up some space. For men who are victims
of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive to
attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to
spatial psychologist Albert Mehrabian, men should "try wearing
bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head
up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.
8) Let Your Feet Do The Talking
According to body language expert Wood, you want to make yourself a
"safe" (read approachable) target. Wood says "to be very
approachable women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches
apart with toes pointed slightly inward. "
For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws female attention. To
attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes
9) Be a Mimic
People mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with
similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting
target's behavior. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he scratches
his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring someone's behavior,
they'll begin to feel as though the two of you are
connected and "in tune."
10) Focus, Focus, Focus.
Once you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips to
deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they are
speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There
is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you utterly
fascinating. Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt - signal you're
listening to what the other person has to say. Smiling and laughing are
crucial here - it's the quickest, easiest way to put another person at
ease and make a connection. Finally, another effective flirting technique
is low-level touching such as brushing the shoulder or elbow.
How to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for the signs above,
especially extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.
How to tell if a guy is flirting with you? Again, the signs above are
fantastic indicators, but men tend to take things a little further by
demonstrating their social status with moves that can include, flashing
cash and talking about their occupations and (you guessed it) cars.
P.S. - Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to
make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3
or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, Men's
Health and Ricki Lake Get our FREE dating tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques - at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com
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