We have been raised to believe that in order to obtain something we have to work for
it. Not only do we have to work, we have to work hard.
You want that $ .75 raise you better double your effort at work.
You want that new car you save every last penny.
You want a good job you go to school and get good grades.
But, with women, it doesn't work this way. You can't work harder to get
what you want; you can't force someone to like you more. In fact, the
harder you work to try and get someone to like you the more they pull away
and the less interested they become. It goes against the very ideals we
have been raised to believe in!
I'm sure you've heard the stories; it's a classic tale. A desperate guy
becomes infatuated with a popular girl and does everything that he can
think of to impress her. He calls her everyday leaving messages professing
his undying love, buys her cute little stuffed animals and leaves them for
her to find, compliments her every physical characteristic and, in return,
she totally ignores him and dates some "jerk" who doesn't do any
of these things for her.
We can't push our romantic desires onto other people. It's one of the few
things that we can't work hard in order to achieve. That makes it
extremely counter-intuitive. We can't work harder and make someone like us
more, it just doesn't work that way.
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It's a push and pull relationship. To break it down into a simple formula:
push = show of interest
pull = loss of interest
push = pull
You push and she pulls away. You never get anywhere.
You show up at the door of a girl's house 20 minutes early for your first
date with a dozen red roses (push) and her interest in you drops (pull
But, if you stop pushing, she won't have any reason to pull away.
From now on try breaking down everything you do for/with a girl into this
model of push and pull away.
Is what you are considering doing going to be interpreted by her as a
push? If so, you can expect a pull away reaction. It's like Newton's third
law of motion: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
So if you can't work hard to get the result you want, what can you do?
In matters of attraction it is often better to take a passive approach.
Think of yourself as a magnet that draws women in rather than a net that
seeks and captures them. A magnet doesn't actively go out searching for
things. It just sits there and the mysterious forces of nature draw metal
objects to it. Similarly you should attract women by drawing them to you.
Make women interested in you by drawing them in with what a great guy you
are. Be passive about it; don't throw it in their face (push action).
Passiveness is often viewed as being a negative but, in this particular
case, it isn't.
This doesn't mean that if you sit on your butt eating Cheetos all day and
beautiful women will knock on your door… I mean just the opposite.
You have to work hard.
But you don't work on trying to get women to like you. Rather, you work on
being the kind of man that women like, the kind of man women are drawn
Brian brian at SeductionProgram.com
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