For some, it's an annoyance or even disgusting. For others, it
is an absolute requirement if you're ever going to get a repeat
performance. We're talking about oral sex! Everyone has a
different interest in oral sex - giving AND receiving. In this
article, we'll explore that elusive technique of giving your woman
the big "Oral O".
Is She An "Oral Enthusiast"?
Before you go south, you better know if she's even interested
in oral sex. Many women just don't enjoy it, while others crave
it. How do you know if your woman is an "oral
enthusiast"? Ask, dumbshit!
You don't have to just jump in the middle of a conversation one
night over dinner and say, "Hey honey - do you like having
your pussy eaten?" You might want to save it for the right
time and place - like on a date when the subject turns to sex.
Now, you can ask her, "Honey, what things do you enjoy when
you're making love?" (women: answer the damn question
specifically, don't hedge, and be glad he asked - so few men
will!) Then, shut up and listen. If she doesn't specifically
mention oral sex, you can ask her. Be sure to pay attention to
everything - she's giving you valuable clues on how to satisfy
Good Oral Technique
Being a good "oralist" doesn't come naturally to
anyone. It is a skill much like driving a car, but without all the
honking and "flipping the bird" (editor's note: well,
actually, we can't judge your PARTICULAR situation!)
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Being a great oral lover is a skill you should have in your bag
of tricks. Here are some things to keep in mind:
1) Start slow!
- Don't just jump in and start
licking her like an ice cream cone! If you do, she's going to stop
you and likely prevent you from ever doing it again! Why? Because
a woman's sex is covered by layers of skin which helps make it
much more sensitive than your little fireman. Further, she has the
same number of nerve endings as you do - but all concentrated in
that little button - her clit.
2) Work "The Numbers" - Many men really
like having oral sex performed on them and are ready go without
much (or any) build-up. A woman can just take a man in her mouth
and get going.
Women are generally not like this. They need some stimulation
before they are ready for oral sex. You create this build- up by
using a trick I call "By The Numbers". Here's how this
works. You start by imaging numbers for her body parts:
1. Face and lips
2. Shoulders and neck
4. Stomach and sides
6. Outer vaginal area
7. Clitoris and vaginal opening
Start on 1, and move up AND DOWN the numbers. Don't jump ahead
in the numbers, but you can jump between lower numbers if you
want. For example, from 1, move to 2, and then to 3, then back to
2 again, then to 3, then to 4, then go back to 3 and then to 1.
This provides a good build-up for her and it shows her that you
know what you're doing - you are a conscientious lover, not just
someone wanting to jump right in and get right off!
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3) Getting to the "Goods"
Once you finally reach her pussy, spend some time licking all
over. Don't go right in for the clitoris! Just like your cock, her
clit is full of nerve endings. However, unlike your cock, it
hasn't been rubbed numb over the years from cotton underwear! The
clitoris is found inside a flap of skin (called "the
hood"). This skin prevents it from getting outside
Add to this the fact that her clitoris contains as many nerves
as your entire penis (only in about 1/100 the space!) and you
begin to get some idea of how sensitive this little button is. If
you just go right down and grab that little bud in your teeth,
she's going to go right through the headboard, followed
immediately by her departure and your frustration!
Spend some time licking around the outside and inside of her
pussy. When you finally reach her clit, watch her reaction
carefully. If she jumps, she's not ready. Go back to other
less-sensitive areas for a few moments. Be careful to keep your
teeth out of the way (unless she specifically asks for this!)
How'd you like her to bite your "little fireman"? Ok,
some guys like this, but few women feel the same way.
Most women's clitoris gets overly sensitive just as she is
approaching climax, (for a few, this doesn't happen however). You
want to be aware of this, because if you continue to perform while
she is coming you're going to cause her excruciating pain, and
probably stop her in mid-climax! Have her help you by letting you
know when she is getting close. She can signal you by pushing you
away at the right moment. As you continue to practice, you'll soon
learn just where her limit is.
Don't be disappointed if she doesn't respond after a few
minutes. Many women are used to more stimulation (usually
indirect) than you can provide due to years of masturbation with
hands or toys. Pay close attention to her. If she seems to be
enjoying it, stick with it. If not you should know when to cut
your losses - if it's not working for her, move on!
Finally, many women "learn" to climax from oral
stimulation. If she enjoys what you're doing, there is no need to
stop. Also remember, the tongue is a muscle, just like your biceps
or quads. They respond to exercise. When you first start
practicing, you're going to tire quickly. As you continue to
"work out" your stamina will grow.
4) This is a Good Way to Start the
- That is, many women learn to climax easily from oral sex, and
this just sets off a string of multiple orgasms. Once you enter
her, she may just start another string of them! Further, if you're
got a "quick trigger" and can't last very long, she will
have already had her pleasure and be very happy to give you yours.
Can I Convince Her To Enjoy Oral If She Doesn't?
Yes, you probably can, but a better question is, should you?
Many women who don't start enjoying oral sex come to love it with
good technique. If you take your time and she becomes an oral
enthusiast, great. If not, find something else that she enjoys. Be
creative and "mix it up." Don't think you can just push
the right button and have things go "orgasm"!
Women - You Have To Help!
If your man isn't giving you want you want (oral or any other
type of sex), it's your responsibility to help him along. Don't
assume he knows exactly what you want - he probably doesn't.
Further, if you don't let him know specifically what you want (no
beating around the, er, "bush"), don't be disappointed
if you don't get it!
P.S. - By Dr. Dennis W.
Neder, he is the author of?
Being a Man in a Woman's World
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