Unless you are
one of those fortunate few who met their soulmate in grade school, married
right out of high school, and spent the next 60 years in wedded bliss you
are going to go through what millions before you have gone through, and
what millions after you will go through - a broken heart. The pain
experienced during a breakup is as individual as the millions of people
who go through it. While some simply shake the dust off and get right back
into the dating game, others are left so devastated that they never date
again, spending the rest of their life in bitter solitude. Why the
difference? Could some of us just be stronger than others? Do some people
love harder than others? Are some loves more connected than others?
For most of us
who experience a breakup, a normal grieving period will occur: Denial and
Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. But for
some, the grief and devastation are so severe that they end up
hospitalized, and even suicidal. Others remain either bitter or so afraid
of getting hurt that they never date again, closing off their hearts to
just about everyone. Yet, some don't even grieve at all, subconsciously
choosing to simply transfer their feelings for one person immediately onto
that of another person in what is called a rebound relationship.
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variation? Well, a lot of it has to do with our loving style. There are
many loving styles ranging from the very healthy, to the desperately
needy. While one person may love another in a supportive and healthy way,
another person may cling onto their mate simply as a way to fix what they
imagine to be wrong with themselves. They use their partner as a method of
dealing with their own imagined inadequacies or feelings of unworthiness -
feeling good only as long as they are in the relationship. Others simply
like the 'high' of being in love. This high becomes addictive to them and
they hop from one relationship instantly into another - often times
head-over-heels in love by the second date. They recklessly seek 'love'
much as an addict will seek a 'fix', and are often so in need of being in
love that they imagine their partners to have all the qualities they are
looking for in a mate - whether their partners actually possess these
qualities or not. Still others simply surrender themselves into their
relationships quickly losing themselves and their own sense of
individuality, becoming 'the relationship'. Should the relationship end,
then shall they, too.
P.S. - This article
brought to you courtesy of: AboutYourBreakup.com
“Your Relationship/Breakup Resource Pages” Tigress Luv is
a published author and webmistress. She currently has two books available
online for immediate reading. Lifted
Hearts, and excellent book for recovering from the pain of heartbreak,
and This Side of
Good-bye, which shows you how to stop your breakup and get your
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