The concept of romance is ever-present in our culture. We grow up with it in
fairy tales, movies, advertisements, as well as our expectations around finding
a life partner and falling in love.
This article is aimed at men because men don't seem to complain that
"she's not romantic enough." Men need romance, although not to the
degree that women seem to. For many men, this subject creates a fair amount of
angst. They know women want it, but they don't quite know how to give it to
them. Men also know that women tend to have a lot of expectations regarding
romance and unfortunately, for a lot of men, if they don't do it right, they're
Romance is about caring, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, and creating love. Some
men are natural at creating the kind of romance that women want, but a lot of
men think romance is simply preparation for sex. There is some truth to that
because most women need to feel a man cares in order to be emotionally and
physically available for sex. Romance helps women feel cared for.
Any gesture of thoughtfulness between two people who are in or moving toward
love can be received as romantic. Picking up the phone in the middle of the day
and telling that special person you care. Buying a gift for no reason. Planning
a special outing or trip. Creating a surprise. Offering to help in little
Anything that sets a mood, such as lighting candles, playing favorite love
songs, or turning down the bed, are all romantic gestures. How about picking her
up and carrying her to the bedroom?; drawing a hot bath; or arranging a
baby-sitter so you can have a quiet evening alone. Stopping what you're doing,
looking her in the eyes and saying "I love you" can be one of the most
romantic things you can do.
Each woman has her own "hot buttons" and you want to pay special
attention to those. But how do you discover them? A great way is to notice what
she does for you. Does she send you notes and cards, or leave loving messages on
your phone machine? Does she create surprises or special outings? Does she love
to get dressed up and look pretty and sexy for you? When you notice her doing
something romantic for you, write it down. Then, every once in a while, look at
that list and do one of those things for her. She'll love you for it and, seeing
the sparkle in her eyes can inspire you to become a natural at it.
Ask a close friend what has worked for him. Ask women friends for
ideas--they'll enjoy helping out. Find a book on love and romance. LIGHT HER
FIRE by Ellen Kreidman is filled with great ideas.
Romance doesn't just happen. It takes creativity and desire to keep the love
between you and your partner alive or, for those in new relationships, to win
his or her heart. Romance is the best way to say you care.
"The Inner Consciousness is of the form of love. It is only because this
love is within us that we look for love in others." - Swami Muktananda
This article was written by Kara Oh and was