Does a cheating
man ever change? Is "Once a cheater always a cheater?" true? If
you take him back will he be faithful to you from now on?
If you've read
any of my other articles or my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's
World", you know that I don't believe in the word
"cheating". This is because, by it's very definition, EVERY man
is a "cheater". The word doesn't really describe the situation
properly. You see, by nature's design, (not mine) men are not monogamous
in the first place.
In any animal
species where few offspring are born, and the infant mortality rate is
high (as it is in tigers, squirrels AND humans), males are pre-programmed
to try to have sex with as many females as possible in order to pass on
their genes to the next generation.
The concept of
"pair-bonds" is actually a very new feature of our society! If
you consider that humans have been on this planet for about 1.6 million
years, (some scientists are beginning to think it's actually much longer -
about 7.5 million years!), and we've been pair-bonding only for about
5,000 years, that means that we've been doing things a different way for
fully 99.69% of the time we've been here!
So, what does
that have to do with your question?
This: it gives
you a great tool to help your situation. You see, while men aren't
monogamous, we can CHOOSE to be! In fact, many do. So, here's the key to
your situation: simply be the women for whom your man chooses to be
"relationship experts" use this "once a cheater, always a
cheater" statement because they don't really understand the
situation. Consider, that infidelity happens in many relationships. That
doesn't mean that the male (or female for that matter) is always going to
cheat. For many it's a one-time thing. Most often it occurs because the
person is looking for something they are not already getting.
I don't know
the situation in your particular relationship, but I know this: your man
can choose monogamy over polygamy if he wants to - many, many men do. He
just has to have the right motivation to do so.
To be continued below...
you can quickly and easily discover if your lover is CHEATING
on YOU... Here is your opportunity to quickly learn the
truth about what's been going on behind your back...GUARANTEED!
question becomes this: what does it take for him to be monogamous? I don't
know the specific answer, and right now, neither do you. That doesn't mean
that you can't know it however. Consider that if you become the woman that
gives him everything he wants in his relationship, he's not going to be
looking elsewhere to have it fulfilled.
How are you
going to know what these things are? Ask him! But, when you ask him, don't
just sit down and say, "Ok, tell me all the things I have to do to
keep you from cheating." You're not going to get anywhere with this.
Instead, strive to understand him and his needs. Get to know what things
he finds important in himself and in his relationship.
Then, all you
need to do is simply adopt these things within yourself.
Good luck, much
By Dr. Dennis W.
Neder, he is the author of
Being a Man in a Woman's World
P.S. - Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at
email@example.com for answers. For more information about my book, “Being a Man in a Woman’s World”, visit:
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