Your Smart Guide to Love, Sex and Relationship

"Clues" of an Affair
Signs of a Cheating Husband
Signs of a Cheating Wife
Signs of a Cheating Boyfriend
Signs of Cheating Spouse
Signs of Cheating Men
If my spouse is cheating
Girlfriend cheating
Signs of Internet Infidelity
Check on the Computer
Why men cheat
Why women have affairs?
Why Do Wives Cheat?
Signs of porn addiction
Pornography help
Sex addiction help
Sexual Addiction Books
Recover from emotional affairs
Will emotional affairs last?
Should adultery be forgiven?
Stay or leave cheating husband
Love Your Spouse Again
Trusting Spouse Again
Starting Over After Affair
Coping Adultery and Husband
Surviving Cheating of Males
Infidelity Recovery Help
Infidelity and Narcism
Confront the Other Woman
Husband Looking at Other Woman
How to Stop Having an Affair?
Why Shouldn't Have an Affair?
Stop an affair with married man
Do married men leave their wives?
Being the other woman
Why do single woman have affairs?
Women and One-Time Infidelities
Who Has Affairs - and Why?
The Grass Isn't Greener
To Tell or not To Tell
Confronting an Affair
Dealing with Affairs
The Third Party
"Loaded" Words and Affairs
Key to Personal Recovery
Rebuild Trust after an Affair
Recover "Love Feelings"
Online Affairs-It's Cheating
Get Her Out of His Life
Help Him Monogamous
Unfaithful Girlfriend

affairs to tell or not to tell

Survive an Affair

            To Tell or not To Tell   

People who have had an affair often wonder whether or not they should tell their spouse. Every person must make this "to tell or not to tell" decision for themselves. However, there are some factors to consider that might not at first be obvious. While there's an understandable caution about the potential risk of telling about an affair, there's also a risk if it's "not" disclosed. In marriages where affairs are kept secret, certain topics of discussion are avoided because the deceiving partner fears being discovered and the other is reluctant to appear suspicious. This causes many relationships to be dominated by dishonesty and deception. It's doubtful that a couple can keep something like this hidden for the rest of their lives without a terrible strain developing. A large part of the high divorce rate may be due to the alienation caused by the dishonesty inherent in affairs, even if the affairs are never confronted. So it may be that there is no escape from the pain, regardless of whether the affair is kept hidden or exposed. 

To be continued below...

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This is not meant to diminish the pain of finding out. But one of the advantages of volunteering the information about an affair instead of waiting until it's unexpectedly discovered is that it allows a degree of preparation that can significantly reduce the pain of finding out. The person doing the telling has a responsibility to take steps to increase the likelihood that the disclosure will lead to building a closer relationship rather than tearing it apart. First of all, they need to be motivated by a desire to improve the relationship, not a desire to unload their feelings of guilt. They also need to be prepared to hang in and work through their partner's reactions to the information, regardless of what those reactions may be. 

To be continued below...

Facing the most painful and devastating experiences, The Affair, you are not alone. Claimed as the Bible of The Affair, Dr. Bob Huizenga’s Break Free from Affair gives you a step-by-step guide to help you break through the confusion, fear and move on with A Greater Life ahead. Break Free from Affair

So it's not a simple matter of whether or not to tell. It's a matter of why, when, and how. Perhaps the most responsible course is one that doesn't rule out telling "at some point," and uses that thinking to consistently improve the honesty and commitment to the relationship in such a way as to make it possible to eventually "tell." In the meantime, this will have the benefit of strengthening the relationship, regardless of whether it leads to telling about the affair. 

P.S.- Peggy Vaughan is a relationship expert, specializing in dealing with the issue of extramarital affairs. She reaches an international audience through her own Website at: 

Following is a list of readings that we recommend for you:

  1. You can save your marriage TODAY! With impressive success rate of 90%, Dr. Lee's proven and effective approaches will rescue your marriage starting from today, and you could have the relationship of your dreams! Save Your Marriage... see what you think...

  2. I have found the effective 4-Step "strategy" to help you survive the relationship crisis, heal your broken heart and bring back your love. That is called Bring Back the Love of Your Life! I highly recommend it. See what you think...  Bring Back the Love of Your Life!

  3. How to have the GREAT SEX you can ever have in your life? How to have MULTIPLE orgasms you can have TONIGHT? How to make your partner crazy about you sexually? Killer Orgasm, we highly recommend.

  4. End Your Internet Porn Addiction- Do you suspect that your loved one is addicted to Internet pornography? What are the options for treatment? How to rebuild your life free from Internet porn? "Treating an Addiction to Internet Pornography" explains to you the answers for the above.

Recommended Readings:

Break Free From The Affair -a step-by-step guide to help you break through the affair, find how...


Bring Back the Love of Your Life! - You can mend your broken heart and bring back your lover! Find how...


Save Your Marriage


You could move from a marriage in trouble to the relationship of your dreams. More>>





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